Well today was another weigh in Friday. Today I hit 90lbs today, losing 3lbs this week. It has been a fairly easy week for me. One of the hardest things with travelling and staying at other peoples place is letting go of some of the control on what you eat. Trevor’s mom has been awesome and did lots of healthy shopping for us but when you aren’t doing all of the cooking, it can be a challenge, but so far so good.
While on vacation, workouts have been great. I was worried before I came because the gym is a daily routine for me usually and there is no gym here. But between runs with Taylor, walks with Trevor and the Nike Training Center app workouts with Brooke – things are great! In fact I am crazy sore from my workout with Brooke.
This weekend is going to be a bit of a grunt for me. We have several family members coming to spread Trevor’s dads ashes. There will be a ton of food and lots of drinking. The most frustrating part will be the food, most I choose to not eat. I eat very clean now so salads with dressings, etc. just don’t work for me. Those points don’t take long to add up. I am sure to some I may appear snobby as I go off to cook my chicken breast but, I dont really give shit. 🙂 I am to the point that I am focused on me and my health. Most of them get it and are happy for me, but there is always one in the group. Call me selfish, you are probably right and I am good with that. It’s my turn!
It’s funny these days, I have been getting lots of messages that I am inspiring people to get healthy. I think that is awesome that something so positive in my life can maybe help someone else. It is also great to know I am not alone, because we all need a little encouragement along the way. The funny thing is, at this point I can barely remember it being a struggle for me, it’s just a way of life for me now. I can’t imagine my life and my family’s life any other way! It is a bit of a family affair for us, I am very fortunate that they have all jumped on board and eat healthy.
Seriously, I thought about this for a year before making the move. The amount of times that I lost, then gained back the weight and some…I can’t count how many. I was so gun shy to even try again, why set yourself up for disappointment, right? I remember last September having dinner with one of my very best friends and I spent the entire night crying in the restaurant. Definitely a low point in my life! I was so depressed, I think I really scared her, in fact she said so. She said “Rob, you are scaring me. You are always the strong one” . But I am not that strong or at least at that point, I wasn’t. That spiral continued for several more months.
I still don’t know why that day was the day. Maybe having my 43 birthday the week before and the realization that I could be dead in 10 years if I don’t get my shit together or if it was my approach to the whole thing had changed. I started having visions of Trevor out kayaking and me sitting on the beach because I was too fat to float, literally! Or if I was just scared to die.. I don’t know if I will ever fully know what clicked for me that day, but I do know that it was the first time that I wasn’t thinking about a quick fix. Get on a diet so I can get to a good size so that I can get back at the “fun food” and drinks. I now realize you can’t look at it like that, it’s a life style change. FOR LIFE!