I wasn’t sure if I was going to blog about my first run or not but the more I sit and reflect on the day I have decided to blog about it more for myself to reflect back later when I am a better runner.
I was really nervous for the run, I felt anxious, pressure to not disappoint myself and others. It was actually pretty overwhelming the range of emotions I felt within the first few minutes of the race.
My first emotion was nervousness. Can I do this? My second emotion was the urge to cry because I couldn’t believe that I was actually participating in a run. Seriously 8 months ago, this would have been absolutely impossible to even consider. Then panic set in. As we entered the trail it became very crowded, which made me feel uncomfortable. It was super dry which created a lot of dust. I had to slow down and let others pass and my mouth was so dry already and I was only a few minutes in. Then defeat set in, I had an overwhelming fear of being the last person to complete the run. How disappointing that would be to me and possibly to everyone waiting to hear how I did. All these emotions take a lot out of you which didn’t make my first run easier for me.
But eventually as the dust settled I got into my own pace. I ran for as much as I could and then I would walk to catch my breath and rest my legs. I had my ear buds in but I could hear someone talking to me. There was a lady behind me that was using me as a pace. She said “when you walk I am going to walk, when you run I am going to run”. I thought that is really sweet she is trying to get us to motivate each other. But I then also felt more pressure. I wanted to run my run, not run a run that she was maybe expecting me to run. I would love to have that eventually but for this run, I just didn’t know what to expect and what my abilities were.
In fact, that was the biggest thing I learned from yesterday. There were several times on my run when I felt I could run longer or run more frequently but I at times decided to walk, worried I would wear out my legs knowing the 6 km ended with a large hill to walk/run. I underestimated my own ability and strength. I am super happy my brother talked me into doing this run. I think is has set me up for a much stronger 8 K Road Race in a month. I have my first run under my belt and I will only get faster from here on in!
My brother ran his race with his son Nate who is also an awesome runner. Darren was helping Nate pace himself for a personal best. In fact, Darren’s entire family ran in the race yesterday. When I was on my last km Darren came back into the trail to run the last bit with me. His timing was perfect, I was at the bottom of the large hill towards the end of the race and he brought me water. 🙂 I just can’t get over this guy. He just ran a 100 km race, won it and broke a course record, his body is hurting but he wanted to come back and run with me. As I was reflecting back on my race today I was texting with Darren about what I had learned. He always has such great advice and encouraging words. In a text he said “I was pretty pumped when I was jogging beside my sister. Never thought that would ever happen. Nice to share the moment with you and many more” He is right, WOW! Who would have thought I would be blogging about my weight loss, my first run, my next run, my first Tough Mudder.
A big thank you to my beautiful daughter Taylor for coming to do this run with me. She was so awesome and helped try to keep my emotions and nervousness in check before the run. She helped me warm up because I didn’t have a clue what a warm up for a run looked like. She is amazing!
This week has been an emotional week for me. I am coming to terms with some of my accomplishments, recognizing the perks of them and most importantly for the first time, in well as far as I can remember, I love myself. I love myself! Isn’t that the coolest thing you have ever heard! I am so stoked! Bring on the next 80-100 lbs, I am ready to kick the shit out of you! YEAH!
A big shout out to Nanaimo Frontrunners. They held a great event! I am happy that my brother’s running community was my first run experience!