The past few days I have been doing a lot of thinking about my life today versus not even 2 years ago. I have so many things to be grateful for and so many things to look forward too.
My First Half-Marathon:
Next weekend I will be running my first half marathon. I still sit and think about the idea of this. Today I was running a 6km run, YAH for taper time, and I actually started crying when I was running. (not the first time either) I was imagining myself crossing the finish line on Oct 11. I get emotional just trying to put this into words now. I am going to run a half marathon. Maybe, if I say it enough times, reality will settle in for me. I needed to blog about this today because, today while running, I realized I need to settle down before my race so here I am. Putting my thoughts down here always grounds me. I have been feeling panicked about my conditioning, I have been having some tightness in my legs which is causing some knee and heal pain. It’s nothing I can’t work through but I hoping between acupuncture and massage I will have it sorted by race day. Either way, nothing will stop me that day from having the best race possible on that day, I am going to kill it!
So let’s go back to a year ago, I was down around 112lbs, and tried to run the 8k at this same event with family and friends at my side. I just couldn’t run the whole thing, I couldn’t run half of it, I actually had to walk a lot of it. I remember being so sad and my friends reminding me of how far I had come then. Now a year later, I am down 195lbs and about to run my first half marathon. I had met an older gentleman last year in the hot tub at the hotel after my race. He had heard us talking, couldn’t believe my weight loss and told me that I would be running a half marathon this year. I without any doubt, laughed and said, “no, maybe I would just work on actually running the full 8k next year”. Hmmm, he was a very smart man. I wish I could meet up with him again after my race. 🙂
This year I will have friends and family at the finish line, I believe even my mom is coming down for this race. My brother and his family will be there along with my family and friends. It could get messy at the finish line. LOL
There are people in my life that I always need to try to remember how much my weight loss has affected them. On Thursday it will be my 21 year wedding anniversary with my husband Trevor, 23 years together total. To put it into perspective, I have been morbidly obese for 20 of those years. Some nights we sit and talk about this. I have to admit, I get so self involved on trying to process my own thoughts on this new reality that I forget what a change it has been for the rest of my family. Trevor has told me that it is awesome but he still, at times, can’t believe how different it is now. He says it’s like being married to a completely different person, in a good way I think. 🙂 I know for my kids, the adjustment has been mostly in the cupboards for food options but also my time. I now make my health a priority so I am not as available as I once was. I try to talk to them about this, I think on the most part everyone understands but I also understand, change is always hard for kids. I ultimately do this for myself but I also do this so I can be here to enjoy many more years with them. I want to watch them get married and have babies. I don’t think that would have been an option for me if I hadn’t made the change in lifestyles.
Follow up on Weight Watchers blog post:
Going back to a couple of blogs ago I was venting about Weight Watchers online regarding verification of my weight and lifetime memberships. Although I am truly and will always be an online member, after more thought I have decided to start attending some meetings so I can reach my goal weight by weighing in at meetings. I don’t plan to stay for meetings, but that may change too but for now my goal is to get to be a Weight Watchers lifetime member which isn’t possible through online only and I don’t think that will change. Because my original weight and weight loss can’t be verified my lifetime membership, once reached, will just be that. Weight Watchers will never be able to truly confirm my loss because currently there is no process built into the Weight Watchers online program to verify weights. I have had some conversations with Weight Watchers online about this and I have been impressed so far by their willingness to listen to ideas of possible changes in the future.
I am only 9lbs from my goal weight, mind-blowing to me, but I really am that close. I will keep you all posted on how things go on my weigh ins at meetings. This is going to be a bit of transition for me, as I usually weigh myself first thing in the morning, prior to eating or drinking and completely naked. Somehow I don’t think that will be possible at meetings. LOL I plan to attend my first meeting in the middle of October once I have my half marathon done. Stay tuned!