Today I made the tough decision to stop running. It has been a long time since I enjoyed a run which can make training for your first marathon even more daunting. Today I set out to do a 7k run but shortened it to 5k because I wasn’t enjoying it. This has been on my mind for months now and I was trying to stick it out until I finish the full then step away but life is just too short to spend countless hours doing something that is not serving its purpose. The toughest part of this decision is letting down my running partner but I know she will be just fine without me. But knowing I can barely force myself through a 7k run is only going to make it worse for my long runs. Last weekend I managed a 26k run and it is safe to say the only part I enjoyed was when it was over so as shit starts to get real with my training, it’s time for a reality check on why I am doing this.
I have tried to figure out what has changed for me with running but I can’t seem to wrap my head around it. Maybe I just need a break or maybe my interests have changed which draws me to need other things in life. I have been loving weight training for some time, I love when I am there and how it makes me feel and I love how I look if I stick to it. I also love yoga, I love the way I feel when I do it and how I feel after I am done. The reality is that I don’t get that from running anymore. Maybe that will change over time or maybe it won’t but I do know that forcing myself to do something that I am not enjoying isn’t good for me.
That hardest part has been accepting that I need to let it go for now and that I won’t be ticking a full marathon off my bucket list for now, but that is ok. My coach Corey has already made me know macros to adjust for not having those long runs so I am feeling like I ready to move on. It’s funny how relieved I felt today when I finally made this decision, this tells me that I am doing the right thing for me right now.
I just need to remind myself that letting something go isn’t being a quitter, it means I am strong enough to know what is right for me right now.