It was interesting to me how many people were not only happy for me that I had the guts to make the decision to stop running but what had a bigger impact for me was how many people said they were happy I was able to make that decision without beating myself up about it. These statements made me reflect on some of the areas that my coach Corey has been guiding me on lately, one is my relationship with food and the other is the constant negative chatter I do with myself. To be working on this right now and then get those comments made me realize that I am making some improvements on how I think or know things for myself.
So what has he done to help me shift my mindset? A few things…
First, we had a great conversation about the reality of why I go through ups and down with my weight and how my body is working really hard against me because it is constantly telling my brain that I should have certain foods – in particular, high palatable foods. The reality is that I will always need to be disciplined to some degree to maintain or lose weight but I need to also have some forgiveness for myself when things don’t the way I intended. That is my reality. But even more so is the real reality, I mean look at me… I lost 200lbs…. so who gives a fuck if I have to fight a bit for it – it is worth it and I would never want to go back so again… it is all worth it!! I always appreciate my conversations with Corey because he was once overweight so not only can he relate to my struggles but he keeps shit real when we chat. But he is also super smart, he knows his research and has it at the top of his head, ready to share with me when I need it so that I can get better with understanding why sometimes I do need to make choices that are less “fun” …. if I want to achieve the goals that I have set out for myself.
The first best advice he gave me was introducing me to Steve Guyenet. His website is awesome and has some podcasts that are worth a listen as well, although I haven’t read the book The Hungry Brain yet I have listened to tons of interviews where he talks in great length about his research and what that translates to for me, which has helped tons with my relationship with food.
Then, after a check in – things were going pretty good, it had been a good week but then I had to finish the conversation with a note about one thing I could have done better – and he said… regarding the negative chatter that I should read the book Unfu*k Yourself by Gary John Bishop. I am currently on a break from school so don’t love the idea of reading ATM so I downloaded the audiobook. This book was awesome, my biggest take away from this book is how my brain is wired for success, so if I am going to think and tell myself that I am going to be… whatever negative thing I decided to tell myself that day, then my brain is that awesome that it will make that come to true for me. So, if I want to really change the way I think and feel I need to start telling myself that too. Change your thoughts – change your life! What a concept. 🙂
When I shared on social media that I was finishing Unfu*k Yourself, a few people recommended that I listen to
The Subtle Art of Not Giving a Fu*k by Mark Manson, so this book is also freaking awesome, in fact, I think everyone could benefit from this book. There are many lessons in this book but for me, it reminded me that I need to be mindful of the stories I create in my mind and how I need to give a fuck less about the past and act in the now for the things I want. I need to worry less about what others think or care, they have their own stories, I need to let my values guide me to get what I want out this life. All that being said it reminds me of a bracelet my sister gave me when I was almost done losing my weight, on the inside of the bracelet read “The Joy is in the Journey”. This book made me realize that I need to take action to and find the joy in this journey.
So this is why deciding to stop running, for now, was an easy one for me. Nothing has to be forever, there are no rules, and I am sure in some capacity it will be back in my life at some point. We all need to do what makes us happy and we also need to respect that everyone’s journey will be different depending on their story and the values that guide them.
All that said, I have realized that I was stuck in a negative feedback loop that I had created for myself. It showed up in how I thought, viewed and expressed myself. But I am already noticing that I am worrying less about my body image, focusing more on what I have accomplished, and feel hopeful that I will achieve all that I want to achieve.
I am loving my weight lifting, I am loving my yoga, and I am loving that I get pick whatever activity excites me on a Saturday morning. 🙂