A transformation is so much more than losing weight. I didn’t understand what I was doing when I started my journey but my transformation is so much more than just losing weight. It was about transforming my relationship with food, from how I deal with emotions and how I celebrate life. But it has been so much more than that too, when I lost weight something shifted for me. My journey has been filled with many ups and downs as I settle into finding the new me. I remember going through a phase where I literally didn’t recognize the person staring back to me in a mirror and wondering how fast I had gotten there. Really it was two years of discipline but I think I was so wrapped up in the goal of watching the scale go down I forgot to really pay attention to me and how the exterior transformation was shifting the person I was inside. This was also very challenging at times for those that knew the old me, at one point my husband said “I am just trying to get to know who I am married to now”… it was true, I was no longer that insecure person that lived life like I wasn’t going to be here very long or would not fight for what I believed for fear I would lose. I had turned into this person that was full of confidence, driven to make a difference in a world that I really didn’t think I would be apart of for long.
When I became more confident, I started to have new goals outside of weight loss. I used to think I wasn’t smart enough, I spent most of my high school skipping out because I had been put into all the basic courses after entering high school coming out of two room schools in logging camps and struggling academically. I really didn’t think I was smart enough to do post-secondary. It wasn’t until many years later when I started working in higher ed, surrounded by brilliant women and men, and they were telling me I was smart enough, and that I wasn’t only capable but that I would thrive in a learning environment. I heard those messages when I was obese too but I didn’t believe them then but something changed after I found my confidence. I started to believe what they were telling me and when you start to be open to hearing it, you believe it, and when you believe in something it will come true. As I learned in the book UnFu%k Yourself, our brains are geared for success so the stories we tell ourselves will come true whether we do it on a conscious or unconscious level.
In 2020, I will cross the stage with a MA in Interdisciplinary Studies – Specialization in Leadership in Organization Culture. Crazy stuff Batman!!
When a person goes through such a big change, it really makes you question everything. It makes you look at your relationships, career, fitness goals as well as what you truly value in life. Values are huge for me and they guide me in all aspects of my life now – what can I settle for and what can’t I settle for. Living like this can make living being a bit unsettling, you are constantly searching for more. I don’t know, maybe this is how everyone lives and I am just experiencing it now that I am in the land of living… I don’t know, but I am constantly amazed how making the decision to lose weight and gain my health back has shifted EVERYTHING else in my life and I love it. I love that I live without fear of the future, I love that I dream about the future.
I had once write a five-year vision for my self when I did my leadership studies at the beginning of my learning journey. All of those things have happened for me in half of the time, so I truly believe if you see it in your future – it will happen eventually. What do you see in your future, what will you be doing and where will you be in 5 years?