How set are you on the decisions you make at a certain point in your life? How open are you at reevaluating or changing your mind? So many of us limit our options because decisions we make at a certain point in our lives due circumstances or what serves us at that time but does that mean we can’t revisit those decision? Life is messy and nothing is that straight forward.
One of the best parts of documenting your entire weight loss journey is that it gives you an opportunity to look back at your posts to see how my understanding or values have shifted as I learn more about myself and about having a healthy and balanced relationship with food and even exercise for that matter. There are many posts that I could unpublished because my views were so naive at the time but then this blog would no longer represent all the learning that has taken place over the 5 years. As I start to incorporate running back into my routines, I can’t help but reflect on how I felt when I stopped running last summer, I absolutely hated it! I was no longer running because I enjoyed it but because it afforded me to “play” more. But this time I am approaching it differently, I am not running out to race the next half but I am running because I want to move more and it feels good. When I ran before it provided me an excuse to eat like an asshole because “hey I just ran 26k, I deserve it”, well that didn’t serve me well in the long run and led to many bad habits and fed a bad relationship with food that I hadn’t yet fully understood. I just need to run for the right “why, when, and where” to be successful. I process things a bit differently now and have a different relationship with food so I am less worried about falling back into bad habits.
I am getting close to being done with losing weight and will soon be shifting to maintenance. The last time I tried this I failed horribly. So what is different this time? The short answer is my relationship with food is different. As much as I would preach that this is a “lifestyle change” through the years, I don’t think I truly knew what that meant, but I did know it’s what I needed to be successful. This time I actually know what that means or what it feels like to be consistent on daily basis. I used to do exercise so that I can eat, now I do exercise because I enjoy it. I eat food when I am hungry but I don’t do things to afford me the “treat”. Don’t get me wrong, I eat treats life is too short not to enjoy that cookie or that DQ Blizzard on occasion, but the difference is “its a treat” and I plan and adjust for it. Treats aren’t for everyday and honestly if you did eat that everyday, it’s no longer a treat or special and then what we crave as a treat becomes our focus because our treats have just become an everyday food. Treats are way more fun when they stay as treats, and at the end of the day , it’s all about balance. There is nothing we can’t enjoy or do if you take a balanced approach to it.
If I have learned anything during the past five years, it is to be open to change, do things that serve you at the time and be willing to make the changes necessary to live life to the fullest now and without regret. For me, living is about personal growth and evolving through our personal experiences and life lessons. Don’t write the ending to your story before you’ve had the chance to live your story to the end.